If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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