Are we in a gay sports bar?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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