1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
