Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
