Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
