I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
