Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
