4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
