To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
did i just pee glitter
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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