He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
NoShamevember. You game?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
