Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All the doctor said was why
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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