I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We are two peas in an std pod
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
