Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
