just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
