I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
