My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
