im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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