Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
