If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
