i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
