Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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