I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
