I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
