Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
