He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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