Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
