i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
