the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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