i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
