Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
