it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She even gives head with a lisp.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
