We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
