My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
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