batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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