I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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