she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
