Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
No subtext here. People are naked.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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