I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
PANTIES FOUND
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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