From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
