thus making me awesome and them whores
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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