11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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