I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
