But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
