this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
