Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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