I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
