hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
