Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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