Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize