i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
