Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
