Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
