update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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