sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize