so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Found the puke drawer
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
