he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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