So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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