New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
