In the future we'll all be gay
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
