Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
