I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize