we're blogging at a bar
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
