we made out on top of his cat.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
