did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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