awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
