normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
