2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
