oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she looked like the before picture.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
