Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
